Today I decided it was time to get a tattoo I have been wanting for a long time, so I did. I didn't tell anyone, and I didn't make it a big deal beforehand, but it certainly had a lot of thought and research behind it for months.
I have always been interested in trees, even though I hate flowers, trees have always held a certain amount of wonder for me. The thought of being able to get a snapshot of the entire tree's life when it dies, just by slicing across it's trunk. Just think what the coroner would find if humans carried this trait. Some years would be full of healthy growth, while others may show some wear and tear. Whenever I see a tree trunk I always look for those things, what kind of life did that tree live? How many years did it live? Did it go through a drought? Call me silly, but it's just one of my things.
What would the last few years in my trunk look like? I have grown a lot as a person, I have fought through some tough times and I have learned a lot about myself in the process. On the other hand, my physical body has shrunk considerably. In that "growing" period of my life, I changed my lifestyle to become a healthier version of myself inside and out. Those might be some confusing rings, and since I don't carry this trait, I will write about my experiences instead.
I have also always thought willow trees were beautiful. We used to go fishing at the sportsmen's club in Minonk when I was a kid where there was an amazing weeping willow on the south side of the pond that I remember thinking was cool. Later in life I learned more about willow trees and not only how naturally tenacious they are, but the amount of symbolic meanings willow trees represent. Again, call me silly, but that is pretty cool to me.
In my research, I came across this and it really stuck with me. "Willow is a magical and healing tree. Its name literally means "convolution," and there is a convolution of energies associated with it. It stimulates an energy of healing on many levels, especially though in the areas of herbology and aromatherapy. And its meanings to us are often multidimensional. There is rarely a single message from willow. It is always multiple and many layered." That to me says that it is complex, and it might mean different things for different people.
I have always had a strong personality, a tough soul, and a fair amount of stubbornness. If you hit me, I will hit you back. If I go through a tough time, I will fight through it. If you tell me I can't do something, I will try like hell to prove you wrong. If you have ever been in a disagreement with me, you will know that the definition of tenacious is definitely part of my personality. (not readily relinquishing a position, principle, or course of action; determined)
The new willow tree on my forearm is a multidimensional symbol for not only who I am, but what I can get through. It will serve as a reminder that I will bend and bend, but never break when I face tough times. It will also remind me that I can use the many aspects of my personality like the branches, and help others through their tough times, "for even the smallest piece of a branch is capable of bringing forth another tree." It will remind me of my tenacity. It will remind me that "Willow trees are extraordinarily graceful and fluid. Are you able to bend and move with the circumstances of your life? Learn to be more flexible. The willow is often a sign of grieving or sadness because of its name, "weeping willow," called this because of its long, hanging branches, which to some people appear as though they are drooping with sadness." I am no longer drooping with sadness, nor do I ever want to be again. I'm stronger than that and I have the tools to cope with it now.
I've had skin cancer twice, and I'm sure I will have it in the future. I don't have a trunk with rings to tell my story like trees. I'm going to do what I want with my skin, because when I die my stories will only be here, on the hearts that I have connected with and on my skin. I'm only going to live this life once, and I don't want to regret a single day.
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