Recently I had a discussion with my dad that only lasted a couple minutes, but it really stuck with me. He told me that someone had asked him what he thought of my current life situation (AKA me being gay) and his answer, while simple enough, really made me think. He said something along the lines of "Well, it's not exactly the white picket fence I always imagined for her, but then again I'm sure she didn't imagine her parent's would ever be divorced either."
Last week, my parent's would have celebrated 33 years of marriage, and we would have attended the 24th annual Dash to the Dells as a family if their white picket fence was still intact. On September 13th, when I wrote the date at work, I immediately thought of his comment and started to reflect on why it stuck with me. Of course growing up I never imagined that my parents would get divorced, nor would I ever wish the pain they went through on anyone. As an adult, I just want my parents to be happy, regardless if they are together or not. The other night, I had another conversation with my dad, this one lasted a little longer. We were talking about relationships, and I felt like I was giving him advice by the end. He actually asked how I make it work, and told me that he was happy for me, but slightly envious.
My white picket fence may not be straight, and it may look a little different than my parents imagined but to me it's perfect. I spent a couple years finding myself, and making myself happier. Then, I found the person that completes that journey and makes me happier than I even imagined for myself. I found my person. Our relationship is full of love, respect and laughter. I look forward to what little time we get to spend together, we both do things every day to maintain the healthy, happy relationship, we tell each other how we feel, and we are in this as a team. Yesterday we had our housewarming party in our new place, and we were surrounded by love and support all day. I went to bed with a happy heart last night, and woke up with a smile on my face today.
On my journey to a happier Jackie, I started asking myself 2 questions: Are you happy and is it healthy? If either of the answers were no, then I obviously needed to reevaluate something. Over time, I have challenged friends and now my dad to consider these questions when things are rocky. Occasionally I will ask myself those questions, just to check myself. Right now, both answers are definitely yes for my relationship and the decisions we have made up to this point. As far as some of the other parts of my life, I am currently reevaluating just how healthy they are for me and my future.
2013: the Happy, Healthy and Alive year. (So far, so good!)
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